Raising Boys n Barbells

Dear Caden,

To the one who made me a Mom, I am forever grateful.  The day you came into my life, I finally found my purpose. To love and protect you with all that I have. From the moment I held you in my arms and you looked at me with those big blue eyes, my heart knew a love like no other.

You have changed my life for the better and life as I knew it forever. Suddenly our spotless house is no longer perfect, but it’s so much warmer. My days are longer and sleep is shorter but time with you gives me more happiness than a full night’s sleep ever will. Some days you make me lose my mind, but most days you help me find my soul.

While I am here to teach you all about life, I have realized you are here to teach me what life is all about. God gave me you because he knew you would push me to be the greatest version of myself.

You force me to give up the need for control.

From the moment you were born, you have shown me that there are some things in life we can’t and should not control. The day you decided to come into this world I had a planned induction scheduled, but you had other plans and decided to come on your own terms (it turned out much better your way). You were late to almost all milestones in the first year no matter how hard we pushed you (I am not sure you ever successfully rolled) but always progressed when you felt like it. No matter how hard I try to control situations, we all know you run our house. You have figured out the way to your Mom’s heart and your Dad’s breaking point. Yet, for a self-proclaimed control freak, this is exactly what I needed, forcing me to let go.

You teach me how to live life not caring what others think.

As much as I try to dress you in my favorite classic clothing from Gap Kids, you always convince me that it shouldn’t matter what you look like, as long as you are happy. It is on most occasions we find you leaving the house in your Christmas pajamas with your favorite Spiderman rain boots on your feet… and not to forget the swim goggles on your head. I love the confidence and joy that you exude every day – I don’t ever want you to lose this. If you can do it, so can I… showing up as my best-self with my messy bun, favorite joggers, and no make-up on.

You help me to appreciate the little things in life.

Your happiness and zest for life is contagious. I love watching you light up for all the little things in life, from when you shout “mama, look!!” when an airplane flies by to your uncontrollable giggles during “blast off” on the swings as you soar high in the air and your bright eyes lit up for all things Halloween including the scary stuff! Enjoying life with you makes every moment seems so much brighter and reminds me what is really important in life.

You remind me it is okay to feel emotions, life can be hard.

You have some bad days, days when you are tired, not feeling well, lose your temper, or are emotional for no reason. You are never shy to let it out and express your emotions outwardly, whether it’s at home before bed or in the middle of Target. Although your big emotions are one of the most challenging parts about being your Mom, they remind me of my own. Life is hard, not getting your way is not easy, having to share is a challenge; this is part of being human. Often times, all you need is a hug and me by your side to help you move through whatever you are going through. Ironically, most times that’s all I need too.

Most of all, you show me how to love hard, unconditionally.

You may put on a front at times but secretly you have one of the biggest hearts I know. I can see your ability to love hard with your best friend Maddie, always wanting to play by her side, give her a hug goodbye, and asking where she is when she is not around. I can tell your heart explodes when you spend time with your cousins, aunts/uncles, and grandparents, loving them so hard you can never get enough. My favorite is watching the love for your baby brother grow, always helping him to find his pacifier when he is upset and making him laugh with your silliness. But most of all, the love you give your Mom and Dad is irreplaceable. You always choose us over anyone else, often making it hard for us to leave you. Even when we are at our worst and sometimes break, you still love us unconditionally.

Three years ago today I gave you life, but really you gave me mine. You are loved for the boy you are, the man you will become, and the precious son you will always be. Happy birthday sweet boy!

xoxo,

MOM